Aging and Change
I’m 32. I’ve been pondering the process of growing up.
It’s become our common understanding that aging is a painfully slow, yet even more painfully fast, process of growing old and rickety, senile and forgetful. We spend our lives longing in vain for the previous year, the previous decade, or the previous life stage. At the one-quarter life mark we switch from looking forward to looking back, seeming to never look here at the now. Each year just as we begin to adjust to our new age, to wear it and perhaps own it, the looming annual “celebration” strikes, again putting our personal awareness out of kilter.
I’ve spent a life struggling with whether to accept the things I see around me that just don’t sit right. Rush hour baffles me, that we all live trapped in the same schedule so much so that we clog the arteries of our communities twice a day– not to mention we get pissed off in the process. This same lens has led me to rebel against the negative take on getting older.
I have made a decision. I will not limp through the years with a whimper and a pout, I will not waste any year slouching my shoulders and mourning the goals not achieved and the tasks not accomplished, and I will not live a life that uses precious time longing for the things past that I failed to appreciate only to not appreciate the things present until they have become the newest things past.
I will live a life anxious for today peering to what could be tomorrow, I will live a life that eeks out every drop of every age I have the opportunity to experience so that when it comes time to turn the page I have no more use for the previous number, and I will live a life built on what I have or what I could have, not on what I don’t have or what I did have. It’s time to shed the paralysis of failure and embrace the beauty of trying.
The Fail Project
I want to take the time to be purposeful in moving forward and to reflect on what my movement means. This isn’t a project about being disappointed where life is currently. This isn’t about squeezing in all my personal expectations or goals before it’s too late. This definitely isn’t about mourning the end of anything. This is a project about transition, intention, and hope. It’s a project to use a intentionality to flip the script and make it a catalyst toward dreams future. Let’s do this thing.